When I used to work in jobs with lots of customer interaction, I’d often hear the same questions repeatedly from different customers. I quickly grew sick of answering them, especially if they were difficult to answer or required lengthy answers. While it may have been any given customer’s first time asking me that question, it may have been my fiftieth time answering it. Although I no longer have to deal with those repetitive questions at work, there are still questions I’m sick of getting elsewhere in life. Here are some of the ones I wish others would stop asking me, just as Tom Wilson says in his question song.
- “What do you do for work?” This was one of the most common questions I got when I was meeting new people regularly. Sometimes they would simply ask, “What do you do?” While suspecting that they were talking about work, I would still try to steer the conversation in another direction by talking about what I liked to do. Almost always, they’d interrupt me, ignore everything I just said, and ask, “No, I mean what do you do for work?” That instantly put me off of them, both for asking a boring question and also for interrupting me while simultaneously dismissing all the stuff I said I enjoy. Aside from shyness, the fact that this question almost never comes up anymore is a reason I’m glad to not be regularly meeting new people at this point in my life.
- “Are you going to shave your beard?” I don’t get why anyone asks that question, or the variation asking me when I’m going to shave, as if that were ever an option. I never hear anyone ask someone if they’re going to shave their head or any other hair on their body. Since I haven’t shaved my beard in almost a decade, plan to keep it for the rest of my life, and never talk about shaving, why does anyone think to ask me that? I’ve never asked any other guys that question, and I dislike the subtle implication that the person asking wants me to shave. I grow my beard for myself, so I’ll do with it as I like, regardless of what anyone else thinks about it, particularly those who voice criticism about my beard.
- “What?” Any other variation of that (“Huh?” “What did you say?” “What’s that?”) also fits in this spot. No matter how loudly and clearly I try to speak, those around me almost always ask me to repeat myself. Some in particular say it almost every time I say anything to them, which is extra annoying. This doesn’t just stem from being in a loud setting as it still happens when I’m in a quiet location. It annoys me greatly, especially when I’ve just said a lot or said something that took a lot of effort to say. The fact that those who tend to not hear or understand what I say are often the same folks who tend to interrupt or ignore me the most (or just simply avoid paying any attention when I speak) adds even more frustration. Sometimes I just say, “Never mind” instead of going through the struggle of saying it all again one or more times; if I then have to give a lengthy explanation of what I’ve said three or more times, then I’m even less inclined to repeat myself. I wish everyone would quiet down and lean in to hear me better, pay me more attention, and listen without interrupting while I’m talking.
- “Are you going to get another pet?” This is the repetitive question that I hate the most. I’ve heard this countless times since my dog Sawyer died. Sometimes it comes from friends or acquaintances I’ve known for years and other times it comes from new acquaintances after they learn about Sawyer. Even though this is nowhere near as bad as telling me to get a new pet, which some folks have also told me to do, I still hate being asked this question. Not the least because there’s usually also pressure to adopt another animal friend, regardless of what I say in response or if I’m able to take care of an animal even if I wanted to get another one. I’m tempted to ask whoever pressures me to adopt an animal how much money they will give me to take care of that animal, given that animals require lots of money to properly care for (in addition to time, vet visits, enrichment, attention, and love). I’m glad nobody has asked me this question in a long time, and I hope I can talk about Sawyer in the future without anybody ever asking me it again.