Here are some things that have been on my mind lately. I hope this shows what it can be like to have so many conflicting, contradictory ideas (most of which I’ve picked up from sources other than myself) in my head while attempting to reconcile them. Maybe some are worth keeping while others can be released. We’ll see. For now, here’s what I’ve been thinking about recently.
- People will only treat me as well as I let them so I have to speak up when they treat me differently than how I want to be treated.
- Someone treating me poorly reveals more about them than me, although I don’t want to stay silent through poor treatment when speaking up might put a stop to it.
- When someone else bothers me, it shows something else in my shadow to work through.
- I do my best to treat people as I want to be treated, but should that include the people who treat me badly? Should I push back against bad behavior directed at me?
- Holding my tongue to keep the peace creates drama; speaking up creates drama.
- I dislike conflict and I want to avoid it at almost all costs.
- I’m learning how to not be afraid of my emotions.
- A lot of things are coming up even though I thought I was over them, so clearly there’s more work to do there.
- Maybe my sleeping troubles are being exacerbated by attempting to force myself to sleep instead of relaxing and allowing sleep to come to me.