There are different rhythms within communication. Some people tend toward rhythms involving big groups where everyone jumps in and out of quick, energetic conversations; others prefer slower, more relaxed exchanges with fewer people. There are some people who can easily move between the two, but most that I’ve seen lean toward one or the other. If someone strongly prefers one type of environment but ends up in the other, they will probably feel uncomfortable and out of place until they leave. For example, a reserved person in a highly active setting will likely feel overwhelmed and retreat inward. They may like the people they’re around and have interest in the subjects being brought up, but the sheer number people around them, uncertainty about when to jump in, and fear of looking bad if what they say gets a poor reaction (or, worse, no reaction) prevents them from relaxing and joining in the fun. They’d have a much better time discussing the same subjects in a much smaller group, especially if that group consists of other people who are also reserved.
This holds for everyone, regardless of their preferences for group interactions. Their preferences align with their own rhythms of how they think and communicate, and they tend to seek out others with similar rhythms. As a result, they grow closer to those people and can quickly become friends with them. They can still enjoy the company of people who have different rhythms and even be friends with them, but they will usually prefer being around those who share their rhythms.
As you may have guessed, I am generally more reserved around other people. I can be quite outgoing in certain situations: at my job, when I’m performing, and when I’m with people I know very well and around whom I’m comfortable. But overall, I’m usually on the quieter side and tend to do more listening than talking. When I do say something, whether it’s a joke or something serious, I try to make my words count instead of just speaking for the sake of speaking. Those are the reasons that I prefer small groups over big groups and why I tend to avoid situations that have big groups consisting mostly or entirely of people I don’t know. Now that I’ve talked about my communication rhythms, I’m interested to hear about yours. Do you prefer small groups or big groups, or can you be content in either one? Thanks for reading and commenting and I’ll see you in the next post.