I usually talk a lot about good communication in my posts but today I decided to change things up a bit. This post is all about bad communication. I see all of these things regularly online and occasionally in person. And, even though my communication has improved a lot over the past few years, sometimes I still catch myself falling into one or more of these bad habits. This post can serve as a reminder for me to pay attention to how I communicate and it may even inspire some people to step up their game. If nothing else, it’s a fun way for me to vent a bit about the bad communication I see on a regular basis. Without further ado, I hope you enjoy this handy guide on how to lose friends and alienate people.
- Put yourself in an ideological box. Do the same for others and verbally trash them if their box doesn’t match yours.
- Don’t talk with the other person; talk at them and talk past them.
- Don’t take the time to get to know someone and find out what they think and why they think that way. Make assumptions about them and always assume the worst.
- Don’t give them any opportunities to explain their thought processes. Use all available time to tell them about yourself, your positions, and why you think the way you do (actually, don’t tell them why you think that way; just tell them that you’re right). Whenever they try to talk, either to ask for clarification or to explain their positions, interrupt and reassert your own positions.
- Get as little information from them as possible. The less complicated and nuanced you can make their positions out to be, the better.
- Assume that they have bad intentions behind all of their thoughts, words, and actions.
- Assume that you are always right and that they are always wrong.
- Assume that you know everything about whatever subject you are discussing and that there’s no possibility that they might know something that you don’t.
- Desperately cling to anything that supports your positions and reflexively oppose anything that challenges your positions.
- Refer to anything that supports your positions as “truth”. Refer to anything that supports the other person’s positions as “propaganda”.
- Assume that there will be no negative or unintended consequences as a result of your ideas and that there will be plenty of such consequences from the other person’s ideas.
- Focus on everything that divides the two of you and ignore everything that unites you.
- Don’t look at the lack of understanding between you and the other person as the problem; look at them as the problem and treat them as an enemy.
- Treat your interaction with them as a fight and play to win at all costs.
- Ignore the fact that they are a human being and treat them like a monster.