The First Stop

I woke up in a white room. It took a while before I started remembering. My dog, Sawyer, had just died. He lived twelve years before being put down due to lingering pain, breathing trouble, and other health issues. I had him for all but the first year of his life.

A comforting voice spoke up: “Yes, that’s exactly right. That’s why you’re here.”

“Where is ‘here’?” I asked.

“This is your orientation,” the voice replied. “Here is where you’ll learn what happens next. Of the roughly four thousand days you had Sawyer, you were only away from him for about two months. Quite impressive. Now you’re going to make up for lost time.”

“Make up for lost time?” I asked.

“You’ll relive all those moments you didn’t spend with Sawyer,” the voice answered.

“I get those two months back?” I replied excitedly.

“That’s only the beginning”, the voice said with a smile. “You’ll also get back all the smaller moments you were away from him. Every moment you spent at work, at school, running to the store for a few minutes, showering while he waited for you in another room, sleeping while he was awake and vice versa. And you’ll even get back the time before you got him. That’s the first stop.”

“Before I got him?” I asked. “What about the people who took care of him during that time?”

“Nothing will change from their point of view,” the voice replied. “They won’t notice you and Sawyer won’t go anywhere. This way you’ll see how he was before you met him and how he changed after you became best friends.”

“What about everyone who looked after Sawyer once I got him?” I asked.

“The same thing,” the voice replied. “Their memories will be undisturbed as you visit with Sawyer and you won’t change anything by what you do with him during that time.”

“This is incredible!” I exclaimed. “I can’t wait to get started! But wait, what about my family, my friends, my work, and everything else? Am I dead?”

“You’re as alive as ever,” the voice reassured. “Your whole life has been put on pause for you to spend more time with Sawyer. At the end, Sawyer will move on in peace and your life will resume exactly where it left off. In fact, your body is still down there in the vet’s office.”

I then saw myself bending over the table holding Sawyer, tears on my cheeks. Except nothing in the room moved at all. The tears were frozen in place, a dropped tissue stayed suspended in midair, and the vets coming to comfort me stood motionless.

“I’ll have all the time I need,” I marveled. “How am I going to eat, sleep, and so on?”

The voice chuckled.

“Your body is down there, frozen in time,” it said. “Until you return to it, you have none of your Earthly needs. You don’t need to eat, sleep, drink, rest, or even breathe.”

It was only then that I realized I hadn’t taken a breath the entire time I’d been in the white room.

“How is this happening?” I asked. “Why have I been given this opportunity?”

“This is how it’s always been,” the voice answered. “Everyone who’s ever owned a pet, no matter what kind or for how long, has been given this opportunity. It comforts Sawyer as he’s getting ready to move on, lets you say goodbye, and helps you forgive yourself for all the time you couldn’t – or didn’t – spend with him. This way you can move forward in life knowing you made the most of your time together instead of beating yourself up for missed moments or wondering ‘What if?’”

I took some time to let this all sink in. It was nice being able to take as much time as I wanted since I had all the time I needed.

“How much will I remember when this is over?” I finally asked.

“All of it,” the voice said. “Not a moment will be lost. Memories will often come in dreams and random moments throughout the day. Sawyer himself will send you some of his favorite moments so you can smile with him.”

“Wow,” is all I could say.

“If you have any questions or need any help along the way, just ask and you’ll receive the answers you need,” the voice said. “Oh, and one more thing. On this journey, Sawyer will be able to tell you everything he wanted to tell you before. Dogs actually communicate quite clearly but most humans don’t pay close enough attention to understand or even notice it. Now you’ll have nothing distracting you from each moment with him so you’ll understand it all loudly and clearly.”

“Thank you, so much, for all of this,” I said. “It means the world to me.”

“You’re most welcome,” the voice lovingly replied. “Ready to go meet brand new puppy dog Sawyer?”

“I am!” I said excitedly, the sound of newborn puppies growing in the background. “Here I come, Sawyer buddy!”

And off I went to see my best friend.