There are many signs that someone has low self-esteem. The easy ones to notice include speaking quieter than one would like, saying little to nothing even when one has much to say, saying what is expected rather than what one truly thinks, and other similar actions that involve shrinking oneself and taking up less space. However, it’s harder to recognize some other signs as they’re often mistaken for having high self-esteem, confidence, and the like. I’ll share 3 of those signs of low self-esteem in this post so that you can better identify them in those around you (and possibly even in yourself). Here we go.
- Constant bragging. They make themselves the subject of nearly every sentence they say and find a way to use everyone else’s stories to talk more about themselves (such as those who, when I talked about my dog Sawyer’s death, changed the subject to talk about loved ones of theirs who died instead of keeping the focus on me and my pain). Plus, they never let their work speak for itself or let others compliment them. Instead, they take advantage of any opportunity to show off and let everyone know just how cool, talented, and successful they are. It’s exhausting to be around those who always want to be the center of attention and seem as if they’ll never change their ways, even when asked directly to stop.
- Being highly reactive. If you don’t know someone like this, you have likely at least known of them. These folks initially appear to have confidence when they actually have incredibly thin skin. They can dish all kinds of hostility onto others yet can’t take even a small amount of it in return. They feel slighted at the drop of a hat, take everything personally, and let everyone else know all about those they believe to have done them wrong (and they rarely wait to find out if someone actually did them wrong or if they made a mistake and then blamed somebody else). They always feel the need to respond to everything, no matter how small or insignificant it is, and always want to have the last word. Along with this, they will constantly correct others on their grammar, trivia knowledge, pronunciations, and other matters that could just as easily be left alone. Feeling the need to always respond and say whatever they are thinking is actually rooted in insecurity, not strength, and that inner lack is revealed whenever they are unable to contribute or their contribution is poorly received.
- Trying to control others. Part of having low self-esteem alongside an abundance of pride is the vulnerability to what others do, say, and think. That’s why so many prideful people try to control what others say, act, and do. Some go even further with this by putting words into others’ mouths and making cruel remarks that are thinly disguised as jokes to get a rise out of those around them. Many times, they also intentionally push others to their limits and then act like a surprised victim when others understandably get tough with them. This is mostly done to try to make themselves feel better by bringing others down, a sure sign of low self-esteem if ever there was one.